SPEAKER_03 0:00

So welcome to Pretty Gay Problems. I'm your host, Tiny. And today we have our other host, Japan. And of course, we have our guest host, Rico. Rico, tell us a little bit about you.

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Well, um I'm 42. I am a rapper. Clothes designer, shoe designer. I do skincare, body scrub, facial scrubs. I'm an influencer. I'm a TikTok. Um YouTuber. And I'm a nurse going to school for paramedic firefighter.

SPEAKER_04 0:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

A little bit of everything. I love that. Welding. Um, welding, business technology, homicide division. I was trying to go for a doctor, but I'm gonna stick with paramedics for right now. Oh, you just doing that. I'm gonna remember half, I promise like three things from that list.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Like I'm still bringing that right, like nurse, possible doctor.

SPEAKER_03 1:05

I was a long lip of fee. I'm a long list of feel. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

I'm hospitalized. No facts. But anyway. And I had came, uh, the last job I had, I was working at a hospice in all-time dementia. I think me as being a nurse and trying to be a doctor or a paramedic is something that's just my passion because my patient. But um I had come to take care of her and I'm getting ready to move. So, but yeah, I have one child, a beautiful grandbaby. I don't believe I'm 42 at all. Not at all, girl.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

I I didn't I didn't when you said 42, I was like, where?

SPEAKER_02 1:51

I take it, I love to work out. Um a personal trainer. So yeah, that's what I do. See, we say you're a personal trainer, also? Mm-hmm. I make time for myself. A lot of people like you do so much. So some days people call me about custom shoes, some clothes. Like I got a plain black, I already have a design I'm gonna print on, and redo my shoes or whatever. But a lot of people say you do so much. How do you make time for your relationship? How do you make time for whatever? I make time because I'm my own boss. So I mean that's why I'm trying to do it.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

That's where I'm gonna be. I just be doing anything. She be doing anything, so we don't be doing anything.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

A Jane of all trades, if you will, huh? I said a Jane of all trades. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:47

Yeah, that's that's yeah, that's what she says. Because we just be doing, I just be feeling like I'll be doing stuff at this time.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

And two more things. So I'm a director of a Tubi movie called My Sister Love. I'm a book writer. Idiot. That's on Tubi right now? Not not yet. Um I had kind of somebody got a kid, got kidnapped. But um, I had positive because uh my mom just got diagnosed with stage four cancer or variant cancer. Oh, that's like my focus. So, like y'all hear more from me. I mean, now that I'm here or whatever, but um I have a bit of a it's it's a lot. Oh, okay. It's a lot. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 3:32

But who got kids?

SPEAKER_03 3:36

Right. Like, let's go back to the kidnapping part.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

That's what I was like. I mean, I depth like I wanna like I wanna get your whole story, yes, but then we can't just casually just go over that.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

Like, yeah, I didn't write a book. I have three more books. I'm getting on waiting, you know, um this I have two new jobs, but I'm waiting on um waiting on my book to get published. It's gonna be on the in New York and stuff. I've never been, but you know, I'm just I'm just ready for to live my life again. Had a bad breakup, my ex had um past in my arms. So that was hard. So I'm back to smiling, living life, whatever, you know. Yeah. Um turning the trauma into and painting the purpose. It's based on the true story. So I will get y'all my Facebook and everything so y'all can see the trailer. It's based on what I've been through from kidnap, rape, hit by 18 Will and Randolph, and I'm still walking, still smiling, don't have no disease. I've been through the storm. No, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

Is the To B movie about you?

SPEAKER_04 4:57

Like it's about me, but every movie there.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

I'm still looking for like five more people, but every cast member, okay, every cast member is um, I told them, I was like, do y'all want me to put y'all's story in there too? Because the real is the more money everybody's gonna make when it drops. I'm starting out as a web series first. I have an LGBT web series. I've been doing this about 17 years. But the name of it. Um, my LGBT movie is a faded karma. My two movies based on people. I'm glad I forgot that. Yeah, I've been writing and writing.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

Because I'm a I'm a LGBT web series girl. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

But I didn't know nothing about YouTube series. I had no clue what that was.

SPEAKER_01 5:55

But when I go about how she always the very first one that got me between women. Oh yeah. Have you seen that way?

SPEAKER_02 6:03

I was like, you know, how could it but so um I know a lot of people and I used to be a study entertainer, so it's I know a lot of people. So okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

I just I just know when in a movie, like when you do your movie, don't have nobody get shot in their right arm and then they left arm bleeding.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

Or the move or the effects, the effects be taking me off. The effects, you feel like now they did not shoot nobody for real.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

Well, I didn't even turn from black to white.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

When I'm recording, it's so funny because I would cut and then I'm in the movie. So from me being a director, the actress, like I'm going back into like when I got kidnapped. By me, I had Biblical Fox want to play me. Ice even Drake want to produce the movie. But by me playing my own, like me replaying all this stuff that happened to me, I see why. But I got over it now. But yeah, with the fake blood, just it is it's funny, recording because it's like, cut action, and I'm I'm still the same person. I'm still the same person. I'm always smiling and still have the same personality everywhere I go. Because I'm I'm trying to be a doctor, you know. So um it's just amazing that I'm here. I'm walking.

SPEAKER_05 7:44

I don't have any views. Uh miracle. Hello.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

Right? Yeah, random by Lyft Driver. I have pictures, it's on my TikTok. So if y'all go on my TikTok and scroll, y'all will see.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Have a story time there. Okay. Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

You say go on your TikTok and scroll. Like, how many times do I scroll?

SPEAKER_02 8:04

How many times do I do like videos? I get paid from TikTok.

SPEAKER_04 8:12

It's fun. Oh well. Okay, let's get into the topic, though. You said what?

SPEAKER_03 8:23

I said, let's get into the topic though. Um, so last episode we talked about the meaning of happiness, um, what it means, how how how we chase it, and why sometimes it can be chaotic. Um, so this episode we're gonna talk about clear love beyond romance. So basically, um, on this for little first little segment is we're gonna talk about what is love really.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

So, what is do what do y'all feel like is y'all definition of love? Yes, the definition of love is like support, honesty, trust, and being there for that person no matter what. And you can say love so much, but this comes with the actions. This comes with that, you know. Um, somebody can say, Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you, and hang up, but is they really showing showing it? Like love. It comes with action. Um love means it's a lie and it's a big word. Yeah, I definitely agree on that because a lot of people say it. Well, it's like 'cause it's a difference between love and being in love. Like, you know, so it's like people would say they love you, but are they really in love with you? And they're gonna show how if they're in love with you. Right. Cause people can have love with you and not be in love with them.

SPEAKER_04 9:58

Right.

SPEAKER_05 10:02

All right, so um, okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:05

Go ahead, what you want to add on to that?

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Um, yeah, no, I mean y'all both took my point, really.

SPEAKER_04 10:14

Like that's that's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

But uh I was gonna say originally in this book I read by Bill Hooks. Damn, what's the name of it now? Shit. It's like, oh, it's called All About Love by Bill Hooks. And that actually like changed my whole perspective on just like love and what you think about it and all that stuff. Um, that's actually a really good book to read. Um, but she defines love as basically just being the best version of yourself, whether that's like you're trying to be that for yourself or somebody else. So essentially going back to what y'all saying, actions, proving it, showing love, basically. Period.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

All right, so what is a lesson that love have taught you so far in your life now?

SPEAKER_05 11:10

Love me that you can love any.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

I lost someone that I was in love, of course. It was talking about marriage and everything. And by that love and losing that love, taught me time waste for nobody. Love can come, but it's also meaning to me like risking everything. Like, is you really down for this? Is you is you is you up for this, are you ready for this? And I I have that a lot with with people who women they they get caught up into oh, you do you do TikTok and all that, but that don't mean I'm at everybody. Like I've been doing it for so long, but uh I don't want to get off the subject.

SPEAKER_04 12:05

I was just making no subject.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

I don't want to say No, we were listening. I was like, yeah, I'm risking it.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

Risking everything. I also got the little notes right here. But risking everything. So love can be love again.

SPEAKER_04 12:25

That should be a topic. Love can be love again. Like love is like full circle.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Like, I don't know, like how to but like I agree like on the same thing. Um, really moms, I was gonna say like loving yourself and putting yourself first.

SPEAKER_03 12:47

Yeah, I was about to say that.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Because of love do love does come again, so it all goes together.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

Yeah, know your word, all that but definitely putting yourself first and pouring to more into yourself and then you're pointing to other people. Unless it's unless it's equal, you're gonna equally point to each other.

SPEAKER_04 13:06

But I also asked this.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

Okay, so do y'all ever feel like, I'm just saying hypothetically, do you ever feel like if you loving yourself first, and a person feel like you don't love them because you love yourself first? Like, say if you uh it don't take me no hour to get dressed, I'm just saying. But just say if you getting dressed, you want to look good, you want to step out looking nice or whatever, with that person and you just loving yourself, do y'all feel or do y'all think that a person or have y'all ever been through that like I don't know how to ask this?

SPEAKER_01 13:50

Like they feel I think I know what you're trying to say. Like they're like mad that you're prioritizing yourself.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Have y'all ever been through that?

SPEAKER_03 14:01

I actually have like I've had a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

And I don't give like you'll be okay. Like, I mean, to love you is to love me, and I'ma love myself before I love you.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

No, I have um I have situations where I've dated people and like I'm gonna put myself first.

SPEAKER_03 14:21

Like, I'm gonna make sure I'm looking good. I'm gonna make sure we like we step in out. I'm gonna make sure you're looking good too. But then also I got kids. So I have people that I've done kids, like they gonna come before you. Like you being weird. That's just so weird to me.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

And I don't understand why people do that. Like, you have a job, you have a household you gotta take care of. Like, it's okay sometimes. Like, I mean, I love you and you're on my list of priorities, but then also you might not be like prioritized that day, and like that's fine. Like, like I think you do okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:58

At least you on the list that you're getting some kind of attention, you know, like at least some as long as I'm giving you some kind of attention, you should be okay. I feel like that.

SPEAKER_04 15:07

Yeah, you look distressed when you said that.

SPEAKER_05 15:14

Right, she did like girls.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

Like, um uh I want to make and I'm going to make like I know I want to make the right decision. I don't want to have a regret when I, you know, get in a relationship. I I don't want no more. I don't want no regrets. I done I never was any cause of any of my breakup. Never. I'm patient, very romantic, but then I had um my past relationship was like, oh, I thought you was gonna hit me. For what?

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Like, you know, so that's some stuff that they done been through, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_03 15:57

Oh, so they being healed, basically. That's what it sounds like. Because it's just like, yeah, just I don't know. Yeah, it sounds like basically that might they not might not be healed. But it's like a lot of like I think that's with like with relationships with lesbians and stuff like that, they just want to move too fast and not like heal situation.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

They just want to move on to the next to forget about the the past. Like you can't, it don't work like that. You have to heal from that situation first before you're able to move on.

SPEAKER_03 16:24

Like you can't love somebody, like we said, you can't love somebody if you're not loving yourself first. So, yeah, you definitely get the healing process. Yeah. I'm trying to get my stuff in first because you always take my answers, I'm scaring me, man. You're right. I agree. I agree on both of y'all.

SPEAKER_05 16:50

I say my relationship.

SPEAKER_03 16:55

Look, I I have to get my answers in first.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

Um, okay, so when it comes to like to queer love, um, how do you how do queer relationships challenge traditional ideas about love and relationships?

SPEAKER_03 17:11

Say that again, I'm sorry. How do queer relationships challenge like lesbian relationships, whatever kind of relationship, queer relationships challenge traditional ideas about love and relationships?

SPEAKER_02 17:28

The cost of love and open open the cost of love, the cost of it. This is I'm just trying to get down to the nitty-gritty, the cost of love. Look at these little notes. So what's that?

SPEAKER_01 17:51

She was getting there, and like I'm like, okay, let her cook. Like, all right, okay. Now I'm gonna figure where you was. I was waiting. I was being patient. I was like, she was rushing the thought process.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

No, I was not. I was drinking my water. I was drinking my water.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

How y'all okay? Today I'm the only one, but no, I'm good. It takes a lot. But um no, no, no. Risking everything, relationship long, lifelong friendship, safe communication careers.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

Okay, queer love, also just existing, honestly. I was gonna literally just say, like, by existing, to honestly, because I feel like everything that you're naming, like they're all like sub sections, like, and I think by just being queer and being ourselves, like, yeah, we're gonna challenge the born Heather old normative ass bullshit, like literally by being ourselves, like so do queer give us uh more freedom to define our own relationship rules?

SPEAKER_03 19:07

Like, are we like like do y'all understand that question?

SPEAKER_05 19:12

Can you before I explain that a lot of words?

SPEAKER_03 19:19

Do queer relationships uh do in queer relationships do it give us more more freedom to define our own relationship rules?

SPEAKER_02 19:29

I feel like it kind of do, but I think people are still stuck on that kind of like that traditional kind of relationship where it's like, okay, if you're supposed to be able to it's like they the still the film supposed to mean the stud supposed to take over the man role in the relationship when I feel like it should just still be we both female.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Yeah. I definitely think that's a personal thing. Um like it's like those outliers, some of them, some of them others that do be thinking like that. Um, but then it goes back to like what I was saying before, like existing and literally like we don't have to subscribe to this Heather of shit, and you can make up your own rules. But then, like you said, there are the people that's just still stuck in that old way of thinking, but that's their problem.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

Like, yeah, that's like it's like it's like gender roles. Like they feel like it should be like general and and it we are two females. I feel like it should be a gender role if it's two females. I ain't gonna hold you.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

I ain't gonna take the trash. I gonna take the trash. I'm definitely not gonna take the trash.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Really? I'm screaming. Unfortunately, uh, I do I don't enjoy taking the trash out. No, we'll we'll have to share that responsibility for sure.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

It depends on the two people. Because me, like, and I'm not just giving myself like brownie points or a brownie that I want right now with some ice cream. But like I feel like rolls should do that. Take care of the bills, take out the trash, mow the grass. It ain't nothing to do, it's just to do it.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

Well, true. Well, you are well, I'm I'm not gonna assume like your master's. I'm period, because you can't have no crusty. Oh, period. I shake every damn thing. She motherfucking own the building that the people are working in.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

I I feel like my my opinion, like from every relationship I have been in, like, I'm gonna take care of the bill because this. Plan on going on a vacation, you know, us two. Um, I feel like the dominant ones should do the dominant things. I mean, you do it in bed. Why not do it outside? Ain't that wrong going out there and burning some carries to mold the grass? Ain't that wrong with the children or something? Because I like to clean. I cook, but I love the clean. So let's let's make it, let's make it make sense and let's make it easy for both of us.

SPEAKER_04 22:39

So that's just my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 22:44

And that's what I was gonna ask. Oh, wait, what'd you say, friend?

SPEAKER_03 22:48

I'll say, yeah, I said that's why I feel like that's kind of like I don't feel like it's like you've been like a gent. Oh well, I guess it uh whatever.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

Gent what you were saying, so no, I mean it was gonna be basically that so because that's why I was asking, like, so you are mass presenting, I guess, or whatever you wanna identify it as, or how do you identify firstly? Me, yes, Rika.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

So y'all like that. I done went through different stages.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

I mean, in this current time.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

Then I was so, then a stud, then an A G. And I just know like I'm looking at Brad and Judy and I'm like, you know, like I like keeping my feet done. That's my number one priority. I love keeping my feet done because I like walking around. I love the beach. No, she ain't a judge. When you said Brad and Judy, she was confused. Oh no, Brad and Judy, because, you know, like I'm I'm at no label, but I'm still like like a tomboy dominant every day. But when I go through my role of playing my past life, lace front with lashes, and it irritates my soul. So right now I'm I'm I'm trying to figure out what is you gonna present yourself up, you know what I'm saying? So now you just know who that makes sense, you know.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

But I see what you're saying about being dominant and like you feeling like that makes sense though, still what you're saying about you want to do the man of the house stuff or the leadership duties. Let's actually say that.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

And a lot of other dominant should not mind. This don't this don't include hitting on them and um while they sleep going out, not working, not putting toys the table too. This don't include that. This don't include touch not touch me. Okay, this don't include um sitting on the couch smoking weed while she busting her ass. This don't include don't take the kids. Do not take the kids somewhere, take them somewhere. Yeah, you know, people make relationships hard. You gotta come to you, uh, I just thank God on me because some people make relationships hard and they they come in your life and scar you, scar your heart once again, and they have not been mended. See, it's it's good to come in somebody's life, they heart like this, right? But I'm trying to mend it. So when it's like this, you can love again. Even if it's like this, you can still love again. But some people, some okay, and I'm not talking down on studs, but it has to be over here. It's real talk. Some studs, they forget that they're a woman. You know, I'm not saying, okay, I feel wear lashes, baby, we finna wear lashes today, late spring. No. You know, but you know, it's it's just uh, it's just uh coming to an agreement before y'all collash. And then now heart broke, and then it's gonna take about what three, four years. Because y'all want on the same page. It's gonna take what three, four years, Tiny, to try to pull up again who don't want love. And that's when people try to be healed before you come in my life. Because once I left that person alone, I'm healed because I'm not gonna bring my past into my future. Because you didn't do nothing to me. You know what I'm saying? Like just hypothetically speaking. So um, a lot of people make relationships hard, and it don't even have to be hard. It don't. I just don't I don't know. I don't think I'm a more of a relationship person. I don't think relationships are part of me. It don't work out. Not to done gay child. It's just like, where is my limit?

SPEAKER_05 27:10

Wait, no, you had gone like muffled for a second. What you had just said. No, uh, Rico.

SPEAKER_03 27:23

Oh, okay. What'd she say?

SPEAKER_02 27:25

No.

SPEAKER_05 27:26

The last thing you had said.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

No, I said I totally agree with you. And it's like, what, where's level, right? You know what I'm saying? Where's my level? Because everybody wanna be loved. Everybody wanna be loved. People always uh and I know this uh and I just pray for it really to be honest, because she told me, she was like, bro, only my woman, she gotta have her nails, toes, hair, lashes, lace front on, and who's down in order to get out the house with me. That's not you corrupt and trying to hurt somebody that's that looks good and that that's willing to at least try. You know, like I tell people, ask God about me. Just ask God about me. But it's no thirst, no thirst strap, you know. But I get what you're saying, Tiny, because you probably been hurt so much, it's just like, man, fuck that. And that's where I'm at when I'm just like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 28:32

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

It's more of a like when I'm like when I'm dating people, so like I don't like to like compare people to like my ex or anything like that, but like when I'm dating them, I'm gonna give you the knowledge of what they did so you don't do them.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

You we don't need repeating cycles. So if I'm telling you, okay, this is what I need, don't tell me what I want to hear. If you know you're not that type of person, you know you can't fulfill my love language, you're not a romantic type of person, don't tell me you're a romantic type of person. And then and then when it comes to it, you're gonna be like, oh, well, I'm not really a romantic type of person. Like, well, why did you say that in the beginning?

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Because me, I think nothing Yeah, because I don't even be telling that ass.

SPEAKER_03 29:12

Yeah, like I'm like, you talking, like, you know what I'm saying? So don't try to sell me something just to get me. And a lot of people did do that. They try to sell, they wanna want me to hear, like what they want me, what they want me to hear to get me.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

But it's like you're not really trying to even put in the effort, and then it's like when you know you you're about to lose me, now you wanna buy me off. You wanna buy me to like you know, so it's like I'm like uh uh. Yes, I and I I hate it. When a person be like, I'm toxic, you're gonna love it. I don't even like that TikTok song. I'm toxic, you're gonna love it over here. No, I'm not. I'm not what are we talking about? Toxic, like, come on now. Toxic chemical plant, and all that, you know, just wear well then. It's toxic waste there. Cause I used to do movies. Yeah. So I get it. Don't tell me, don't feed me with this. And then otherwise, after three months in this lesbian world, I find out that you won't want to kill yourself, cut your own up. Like, look, I don't want to go into a doctor's mode when we just on a vacation chilling at a South Padre as well. Somewhere by some blue water. And you tripping, like, no. So I feel you on there. It's like I want to find me. If if that makes sense, y'all. I wanna f I wanna find me because I know who I am. Can I see that with somebody else?

SPEAKER_05 30:52

Yeah, that's the ultimate question.

SPEAKER_03 30:57

Alright, so do y'all think that um love can um love can exist without possession?

SPEAKER_04 31:08

Of course. Yeah. Of course.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

My eyebrows say, of course.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

I was like Yeah, because I'm over here, like the question, like, cause I guess the question is just so like, cause to love somebody is not to be possessive, like that's insane. That's oh possessive.

SPEAKER_03 31:33

I've dated somebody, I've dated somebody and they was like, like, it was like I don't like what people feel like they need me.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

Like, and she was like, I need you, I need you. You don't need me. You want me, don't need me. Like, I don't want you, like I don't want no girl.

SPEAKER_05 31:52

That's the pink dance, girl.

SPEAKER_03 31:54

Like, uh like I don't I don't like that. Like, no, like y'all don't know where it all is. Like And then like she was all in her feelings, like what?

SPEAKER_02 32:06

No, I don't I don't need nobody to need me. I don't like it. It made me high the hell you gonna all of a sudden need me now. Like, right, it's like I don't want that responsibility.

SPEAKER_03 32:17

It's it's a lot of pressure. I don't want that responsibility at all. Did y'all have any um questions or anything y'all want to put on? Any stories? I'm feeling this water now. I'm I'm feeling a little, you know.

SPEAKER_01 32:39

You getting up there okay, because girl, I'm still like, ooh, child.

SPEAKER_03 32:43

I'm up here like, ooh.

SPEAKER_02 32:48

So is jealousy a proof of love, or is just when somebody needs that attention? They're requiring that attention. They're wanting that attention.

SPEAKER_04 32:58

Nah, they're like what is the question?

SPEAKER_03 33:04

So is jealousy a proof, like if somebody just being jealous, like they showing you like they always jealous, and like you know, he's like, oh, a lot of people like that though. They're like, oh, look at them being jealous, but is that like jealousy is like asking for attention, or it's like a proof of a way to show your proof of love?

SPEAKER_04 33:24

Um okay, so jealousy. Sometimes people have a strategy with that.

SPEAKER_02 33:41

They have a strategy with that. Jealousy can can really show you that they love you, but it it comes it comes with a lot of it comes a lot uh it comes with a lot with that as far as respect as far as trusting because jealousy can be a part of trust issues. Uh-huh. Just back to me doing TikTok. I done being in a relationship with a oh, you got a lot of females coming in on there. I've been doing TikTok for seven, eight years. I can't help doing my content, it's just what it is. And I'm on there by myself now, you know, like not doing like whatever. But um jealousy kind of shows like uh it shows uh a lot of different things as far as a lot of trust issues, I could say 20%. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:54

Um I mean it is a human emotion.

SPEAKER_02 34:59

I mean it is, but if you mind and I'm divorced and this how you met me, I I can understand. Like, I like I didn't be in a relationship, and she was like, you going outside to take the trash out, and you have a mus t-shirt on, you trying to flex. What? Oh no, it's hot and feeling.

SPEAKER_04 35:23

Oh girl. So it comes with a lot.

SPEAKER_02 35:29

It comes with a lot. It comes with I feel like jealousy is a part of trust issues.

SPEAKER_04 35:43

I can't, I can't.

SPEAKER_02 35:46

I can't do somebody that's overly jealous or like overly is inside. So happy. I don't have truth issues, I'm not insecure, I'm not in denial, I'm not jealous, I'm not um a stalker, I'm not uh if I can't have you, they can't have you. I'm not with no I thank God I am who I am. And I wish more people was like that. Because hey, David Frontra stuff, did it, yeah. And we still about to be information and have a good time. Yeah, so just it comes with a lot of um, I guess, and it comes with it comes with like when they just it's almost like loneliness, almost like don't care. Because what do you just I'm out with a my sister and my mama going through stage four cancer? Yeah, I'm talking about right now. What do you just upset with me? Low-key jealous because I do tarot reader too, low-key jealous because you can. I don't really pull some cards, girl. Baby, like I've been I've been trying to keep my inner peace, like because I be telling people, look, we don't have to do this. It's somebody that's gonna understand me. No, no, facts. That is facts. I just want to be happy. No, no, just I'm going to be happy living this life. I'm about to live the rich life, and I want my significant other to live the rich life with me. We don't have to work a nine to five no more. But they don't make other they don't make people like, I ain't saying me, but it's kind of hard to run across people that's on your same level.

SPEAKER_01 37:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:55

What I'm jealous for, yeah. What I'm be jealous for, I'm licking you. What I'm be jealous for, we do want everything together. You know, so jealousy, it comes with a lot with that. And I'ma I'ma I'ma ask Chat GPT, what's the definition of jealousy? You know, like for real. Come on, too. It's wrong to be hurt and then come to somebody else's life, wasting their time. Yeah. And you going through all these issues. You need to be healed. Like I told somebody, I say, you need to be healed, sweetie. You need to, you, you're not healed. So don't come in my room, yeah, happy, working, trying to do this. Man, it's a big mansion. I'm I pay, I pay rent here, just for this room, and I still pay some, you know, like lights, whatever needs to be. Until I move back into my own place next year, thank you, Jesus. Hallelujah. You know, I just want to present myself. And, you know, a lot of people be like, look, I see that you you trying, you going back to college for this, you doing this, you doing this. That's a turn on to a lot of people, a lot of women. It's a turn on when we when we see each other doing something productive and not running the streets and uh hanging out the roof and like it's we're gonna say the kids stuff for kids stuff. So yeah, jealousy, um, to answer jealousy, it's a lot of definition behind jealousy, envy, like the movie Acimony.

SPEAKER_05 39:48

That movie was inside me.

SPEAKER_03 39:51

I ain't seen it.

SPEAKER_05 39:52

You should actually watch it, it's actually pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 39:54

Right, what's that song?

SPEAKER_05 39:57

Cocoa puffs. I think it's on Tubi.

SPEAKER_03 40:01

Oh, yeah, you know, you know, you just got me on Tubi. You know, I ain't I wasn't on Tubi before.

SPEAKER_02 40:07

So Japan, have you ever stayed in a relationship m longer than um you needed to because you love that person?

SPEAKER_05 40:17

Absolutely, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

Um yeah, I and that was when I was putting people before myself and child, and it's like you see all the signs, you uh then be like trying to ignore them. And so then at the end of it all, I was not mad at nobody but myself because I'm like, girl, you knew this person was not really anything. Like, what were we, you know? So I mean, it didn't take me like long, I guess, to like emotionally get over the person, but just more emotionally stop like beating myself up, because I still beat myself up, like you really wasted a lot of time, like with this like some essential years of your 20s, um, and still got the nerve to like miss the person and like them and all this other shit. I mean, you know, like just in all because you know you never really like hate nobody for real. Um but yeah, you just be more mad at yourself because why the fuck am I yeah, why am I wasting my time and and not getting with the program up here?

SPEAKER_03 41:40

Yeah, yeah, you uh so you will say you'll say uh letting go the which one was harder, letting go that person or that version of that version or letting go that version of yourself you imagine with them.

SPEAKER_01 41:59

Yeah, that's the one, right? And it's like girl, get the fuck right while you still can't like because imagine if I would have had some kids or child, uh-uh, then it would have been my baby daddy. It was just an mm-mm. I don't got time. Like, uh my god, I'd have been so irritated if that person was my baby daddy.

SPEAKER_03 42:30

Like, oh my god, I would do with you for 18 years. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 42:35

Girl, and longer than that, shit. Shit, being a parent don't even stop at 18 no more. Shit.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

I'm ma'am. What about you, Rico?

SPEAKER_04 42:48

Huh? So what about you? What was the question? You're gonna ask the question.

SPEAKER_03 42:56

Um, it was uh the first question.

SPEAKER_01 43:00

Did you stay too where you stayed too long because you loved them?

SPEAKER_03 43:04

Okay, like yeah, um honestly.

SPEAKER_02 43:06

What did I ask you because me in general is I'm always speaking it and I'll stand on what I believe. And it's like putting in all that time, it ain't about the money. Money ain't no issue. But just putting in the love and oh my god, yeah, I did. I done laid on the ground with my ex. Not the page, but I laid on the ground. Oh my ground, like, became homeless because she didn't want to go home. And I didn't want to leave her standing where she was standing. So yeah, I I did because I loved her. But damn it, if I would

SPEAKER_03 44:00

have known you know you only find about a person at least after three months yeah I know lesbian time don't move that time fast that time be super fast right I just feel a little bit too old for that like they're just jumping into a relationship I I work I work on I'm listening I'm sorry apologize I'm listening no uh yeah I don't work like that like I be I be needing to talk to somebody for a couple months like a couple months before I'm because I move interest fast too so I don't want to waste your time for my time so and then I let people know that at the beginning that like like I don't like I'm gonna let you know like yeah this ain't working now I don't like we can be friends because I've had some people that they just assume automatically because they have my number that it was going to be a relationship. No it could go either way it can be a relationship we could be good friends or we can never talk again like it can go either way but they sprack just because they have my number that it's don't go like don't y'all hate when a person try to buy your love oh my god could throw my church don't y'all hate when a person try to buy your love oh yeah oh nah that one now shit you might can buy me a little I mean but some people do things for wrong to them like they they do all this and all this and I did all this for you I did all this I ain't asked you only that now you gonna guilt trip me now but you might buy some stuff now like nobody doing it because you can you ain't getting the shit back but still don't don't don't it ain't gonna even work out at all um how do healthy love look like for y'all today than it did five years ago goddamn ah okay understanding listening focusing on like a lot of people say how can you focus on a relationship because I know I'm a boss so I know how to make time so it's about focusing like sometimes I when I'm in a get in a relationship I put social media down just to focus you know so focus honesty respect um date nights you know date nights it's not it's not hard to love someone but it's how you do it that's what I be saying it it it's really not I feel like I'm really simple person yeah no just being intentional yeah yeah it's like I'm just really simple just take me on the date let's see I'll take you on the date you take me on the date like this like why don't we have to take can we take each on a date me and um okay so my next relationship whatever is like this how I always be I can show y'all videos but I'm I'm gonna wait to like we personally on the phone so y'all might as well get used to me but um I need y'all in the movie anyway but um I'm a little I'm a little shy that's okay I can break your fullness but I don't I didn't deal with only five six hundred people but um by being compassionate by showing that like me like on a romantic night I like doing horse carriage never did never did horse carriage um just to do that dressing my uh hold on one second I'm sorry I got this little security job okay I'm gonna be looking sexy in that uniform but um but I'm gonna be cool though I'm gonna I'm gonna call you uh I'm gonna call you Tommy I'm gonna call you Tommy from Martin you Tommy but she actually worked though right but she do got 5011 jobs child I thought I had a lot of jobs I do a lot of like what shoes I I'm gonna wait because we record I was gonna show y'all the shoes that I have designed okay okay um we're gonna probably like wrap this up a little bit um but let me go ahead and do that final question um okay so what's one thing you hope people understand about love after listening to this conversation today time waste for nobody if you if you're not healed stop stop coming in people life that's healed that's how this is they they be shaking stop stop tell them stop shaking and this to anybody that's gonna listen because I'm gonna share this everywhere whenever it drops if you're not and I'm gonna say this in a doctor voice if you're not healed Mr or Miss stop coming to people like wasting their time and breaking they mended unmended heart more and more because love hurts love hurts people is taking their own lives jumping off buildings because they significantly died and all that love is a powerful word stand on what you want to do and run with that shit we have one life to live stop wasting people time if you're not healed because it can end up wrong for no apparent reason y'all both can end up hurt even more because your decisions so you as individually do not waste my time to waste yours and don't waste your time to waste mine heal first get therapist or y'all can be each other therapist and move on and live your life straight from okay like come on director author them them little actors actress doctor you want to ask I mean she summed it all up right like really I'm one little bubble his cliche is that all sound work on yourself first girl yep right because don't be coming up and stuff up over here because we we all heal we all come we all is peaceful it's good vibes good energy we ain't got time for none of that not this big age we ain't got time I I feel like in my big age I don't know about y'all big age I don't got time for none of that don't do not swear not all right so we're gonna wrap this episode up um so thank you Rico for joining us we enjoyed your perspective your story your heart we appreciate talking about that anything you want to add you want to drop your um instagram um tick tock whatever oh yeah so hold on yeah let me show y'all my I just want to okay my TikTok you hold on because I want everybody tuning in supporting us and continuing growing with our community remember love isn't just about who we date it's about who how we care how we show up how we heal and how we build the community remember we talk we heal we live we free I'm your host Tiny and you have listened to Pretty Gay Problems yes man