SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to Pretty Gay Proms. I'm your host Tiny and we're back with another good conversation. Okay, so in the first episode we had We Already Know Wendy, aka Japan. And then we also have in the film Ida with us. Um this is our first time. This is her first time with us. Alright. So basically we aired. So we're gonna go back with you, Japan, Wendy. Tell us about you again.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

Girl, um I forgot what I said the first time. To wrap it up, summarize Jane of all trades. I do a little bit of some of everything, girl. Um child. I'm just here to talk shit. That's what I'm here for.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

Hi we go. This is your first time tuning in with us. Tell us a little bit about you. You can tell us your background, your social media, whatever you want to tell us. We we can listen.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Um well, let's see. So I'm originally from like Wisconsin, moved to Dallas from Seattle. I do a lot of traveling. I am active on social media. Not like I should be, though. Like, I swear, if like TikTok was back in the early 2000s, honey, I would be a content creator for real. Um, but yeah, I love a good debate, I love a good conversation, I'm very good company, you know. So yeah, I'm here to have fun, talk, and let me be heard.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Okay, there it is. You know, I did a little cruise thing, and I was like, I don't know what she's talking about. It looked interesting though.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

Yeah, so I take a cruise every year. Yes, this year. Yes, so I already went on one this year. It was eight days, so one for next year is gonna be five days. It's for newcomers that have never cruised before. So I actually got my dad and his ex-wife to come on the cruise, so I'm excited for that. Yes. So I'm so excited to have them on the cruise. That's gonna be very interesting.

SPEAKER_03 2:17

Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Yes, but they they still be doing what they be doing, divorced and all.

SPEAKER_03 2:24

Oh that's a whole nother whole episode divorce stuff. Like I swear.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

No, real. But let's get on this topic. So talking about the meaning of happiness. Like, I'm excited to talk about this topic. Like, not Instagram happy, not it'll be happy when you get your your first your money, not I'll be happy when I find my right relationship, or we're talking about like the real kind, the kind that doesn't always come perfect, timing or perfect circumstances. Um, let's get into it. So, like, how do y'all feel like when y'all first heard the word happiness? What how does you what do that word mean to y'all? Like, is it like is a feeling, is it a choice, is it a designation? Like, what does the word happiness sound to y'all? Japan, you want to go first?

SPEAKER_03 3:21

Girl I was gathered. Definitely everything you just said, the feeling, choice, destination. Cause I'll be honest, hell, I'm still trying to figure out, you know, for myself. Um, but I also didn't feel like that's kind of like the beauty of life of figuring it out. Um so I mean, I could definitely see how happiness would be like a feeling first. It's definitely a choice. You do some days have to choose to be happy. Um, and then some days it does feel like a destination. Um that's my answer.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

Okay. Um, for me, I you know, happiness is something that everyone wants to have. Um, but it can also be something that can distract you like mentally and stuff. Like you can also be very delulute with thinking you're being happy, you know. Um I don't know, like happiness is definitely a feeling, but it's also something mental too, because you can psych your brain out and be like, oh, I'm happy, and you're really just and your body will yes, your body will break down and be like, bitch, you not happy. Like you you tricking your brain, like it's like your brain and your heart is always having a battle and stuff, you know. So it's like your heart, like, you know you're stressed out, you know you're suffering, but you're I mean your heart is saying that, but your brain is like, no, you're happy, no, no, like no.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

I can with that also, because especially if you have kids, that's gonna definitely because you want to stay strong and look happy for them. You don't want to be like, okay, I'm stressed or anything of that sort, because it's gonna be like, okay, what's my parent? What's wrong with my mom? Like, you know, is it me? Like, you know, because you but you definitely have to stay strong for them and you have still have to keep that appeal of okay, every life is good, even though you know you're struggling.

SPEAKER_03 5:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

Yeah, see, yeah. Like you really don't be happy, like, you know, like I don't have kids personally, but people that I know that have kids, I've been looking at them like, girl, you were stressed out. Like I'd be like, F them kids, because I can't facts, facts, like uh uh they be like, you should have a baby for what? So I could be looking like you. No, no, I have to be. I gotta get woken up all times of the night and day, and uh and no, I can't I can't go to sleep when I was I can't drink, I can't walk around my house in peace. Uh-uh. That ain't happiness for me.

SPEAKER_03 6:13

Right, yeah, that's not happiness.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

I'm happy. That's stress.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

You're stressed. But even having a puppy is stressful. People were like, oh, yes, they're so cute and stuff, but that puppy stage I done been through that. It is not for the week. Oh, see, look, right there, it is not for the week. Some therapies don't make me want to no, no, for real.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

Mine's supposed to be emotional support dog, and she do she be needing more emotional support than I need.

SPEAKER_03 6:46

Like exactly. See? You supposed to make me happy.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

It's all about you.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

No, because they can't go to work, they can't do nothing but just look at you.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

Other than you bringing up a bill.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

Cause yes, and you know dogs want to eat every and anything that's outside. You you be they be finding all types of stuff. Now you got a thousand dollar vet bill. Now you stressed out, you ain't making me happy no more.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

You're gonna leave her right there in the corner. That's from experience. You're gonna leave them in the corner, let him get that out, and he'll be okay. Cause that vet stuff, yeah, don't make me happy. I'm gonna tell you what don't make me happy all day long. It's a lot we're talking about. Like what makes me happy? That's why I was over there, like, oh girl. Like, what's the meaning of it? Like, I'm still trying to figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

Like, what do you feel that actually makes you happy? Like, is it something you chase? Are we just chasing happiness or we in the moment of happiness?

SPEAKER_03 8:06

Like it goes back to it being a choice. And it's funny because when you were saying, like, you have to trick yourself into like or like when you try to trick yourself into being happy and then your body's like, bitch, no, you're not like I feel like that's part of it. Like, I feel like that is part of, like you said, like are we chasing happy or you know, happy coming to us? It's like you have to choose that day to be like, am I gonna be irritated or am I gonna actually like try to be happy? And some days, I'm not gonna lie, I let the irritation take over. I'm like, I don't care. I want to feel some feelings.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

People I just feel like it's other people sometimes because I was like, okay, um, it's this is gonna this is a good day. This is a good day. And then I walk on a location, I'm like, you know what?

SPEAKER_03 9:00

I try to I try to somebody don't pick you off.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Positive energy.

SPEAKER_03 9:07

And then that's when it goes back to are you gonna let them make you mad? Are you gonna choose happiness? And it's like sometimes you could do it, and at other times, like uh-uh. So I think it's both. It's both definitely choosing the happiness until like it actually comes to you, like staying in the present moment. That's what you were saying, staying in the present moment. It's like you have to choose some days for sure to do that.

SPEAKER_02 9:37

Okay, yeah, like I can agree. Like, I have been happy and stress-free since I left my hometown. And I always tell people where you're born at, leave there because you're comfortable there, you know everything, you know everybody. You're not gonna be happy there, you're gonna be stressed out, be in drama, and all type of stuff, and probably get in trouble. I chose myself and chose happiness and left Wisconsin, moved to a better state. I was stress-free, and now I'm down here. I'm still stress-free, happy. Like I chose to be happy. Yeah, and like with people, it depends. You know, I'm I'm quick for blocking. Uh uh, no, you ain't gonna stress me out, you ain't gonna change my mood.

SPEAKER_04 10:18

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

Yes, and I'm a big energy person, so when someone's mood is changed, my mood will change. I'm not what you're giving me. If you're giving me attitude, I'm gonna give you attitude.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

And then it's like when you now you're the person. That's what people think like that. Like, it's like, okay, I'm giving you the energy that you're giving me. Now I'm the bad person. Like, why gotta be the bad person? And I reciprocated what you was giving, because that's what I do. I'm big on reciprocation. I reciprocate something real fast. Like, uh-uh. I don't um I I cut people off.

SPEAKER_00 10:53

I cut them off real fast.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

Like, I don't do that. I don't just Okay, so speaking of drink. Speaking of training of chasing happiness. Have you um so have you ever achieved something that you thought that would make you happy, but then you realize it really didn't?

SPEAKER_03 11:20

Oh yeah, every all the time, every year. Like, yeah, um that's yeah. Um I'm trying to formulate my thoughts because I'm like, oh yeah, absolutely. Um I feel um because I feel like I'm in a space now where 'cause like you said, after you achieve something, it's like first when you try to get to it, you like, okay, yes, this is gonna be it. Like this is gonna be the thing that like just put me on the map, girl. Like if I just get this one thing, like I it's gonna be it. And then you get it and then you're like I don't really feel it's happy, like, you know, like you finally have that in your possession and it's like for me in my brain, I'm like, okay, now what next? Like I'm always a big like getting to the next thing and like never wanting to like stay in that place. So for me, when I think something is like gonna make me happy or be that thing when I get there, I'm just like, okay, this is cool. Like I'm happy for maybe like that day or two. And then I'm like, okay, but what else? And like and so I think it just goes back to all the other previous um conversations or many questions that we talked about, like chasing the happiness and choosing, like what's like choosing the happiness, like okay, what is gonna make you happy? I think it's it's it's internal at this point. It's not gonna be materialistic, it's not gonna be no person, it's not gonna, damn sure not gonna be a job, girl, because that's gonna stretch it out. Um, and so it really is like choosing yourself. Yeah. And this year, I haven't really been like chasing a lot of accomplishments and stuff this year, and I've really been like sad a little bit. Like I'm like, damn, like I feel like I've hit a plateau. But then I'm realizing like I just need to one relax because bitch, you've been chasing shit all your life. Like, girl. Um, and I think I've arrived to a place where like I can actually like be happy, like relax a little bit, like do some hobbies, like relax, like calm down. Um, and so I think that's where I'm at right now. Like, I really actually have to choose happy, or I'm gonna go out there and try to choose something chaotic to fulfill that thing in my brain.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

Yeah, I I definitely get that because you can get bored. Because sometimes being happy means being bored. You have to sit there.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

Girl, I gotta turn my TV off.

SPEAKER_02 14:04

Girl, I'm literally she is saying a whole word, girl. Yes, you will get bored being happy, and then you want to go and reach for something that's comfortable or toxic because it's fun. Don't do it, don't do it. Just stick in that border. Don't do it. Yes, like you said, if I do a hobby or something, yes, do not do it. You're about to come down to everything. I felt that for real.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

I just do stuff. I just be doing stuff, I just be doing stuff, just be doing it.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

I'm like, uh Yes, we gotta get out of that, like doing stuff because sometimes when you happy and you get bored, you start reaching out to exes and self-sabotaging and just exactly knowing what they about and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_03 14:54

Like, don't have no mouth Little, I'm feeling that word too hard, girl.

SPEAKER_01 15:04

Amen, Pastor. It was her shaking that head, and that thing was just vibing.

SPEAKER_03 15:11

Like, this is about to fall off. About to shake it out. Okay, let me get out of myself, child. I done caught the spirit, girl. I'm so stupid.

SPEAKER_01 15:24

Ringing bells and hitting up. I don't know what she was hitting. She was ringing some bells and hitting some walls. I don't know what she was doing.

SPEAKER_03 15:30

I have my remote, I done turned the TV and stuff, like whoo.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

I'm with you, I'm with you, I'm with you on that one. I'm with you. But on that segment. Like on the chasing happiness segment, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

Um like I don't think you should chase happiness. I think you should find it within yourself first, and then happiness will come to you eventually. Like, everybody expected to come right then and there, but no, give yourself time. It's also a healing process because if you're not happy with yourself and you're not fully healed, everything that's bad is gonna keep coming to you.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

No, no, no, that's fine. Okay, I got one more question. Let's just chase them, though. This chasing happiness. So, how many of your I your ideas of happiness is truly yours or is our really truly ours? Like, is it is it are we shaped by society of happiness, family, relationship, or culture?

SPEAKER_04 16:46

All of it.

SPEAKER_02 16:47

Right. All of it. All of it. You know, when you look at social media, you look at these influencers, they got all the cars, the big houses, they look happy, they got the money and stuff, but in reality, they do not be happy because a lot of them be suicidal, they be depressed, they have all types of eating disorders.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

No, that no, that's facts. Like, I definitely agree on that. Even like with these couple goals, everybody wants to have that couple goal, but it's like, where is the real goal? What what are we reaching for?

SPEAKER_04 17:20

Like, where's the goal?

SPEAKER_01 17:23

They're really just doing this for money to be happy.

SPEAKER_02 17:27

Yes, like them fake couples that be on TikTok and stuff like that. I'll be like, Y'all not really happy. I bet behind closed doors, y'all probably fist fighting each other.

SPEAKER_03 17:36

Right. Yeah. Or not even a real couple for real. It's probably just linked up to these couples' content, which is insane. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

All them like lavender marriages and stuff like that, you know, like and it's it'll be bad at the same time because it's like um we like look at that and it's like, okay, well, I want to have a wedding like this person because how they made it look, like, or I want to be like this person because like it's like you want to see that, you want to be that self-image of what is shown to you, and that's why a lot of people get confused too, because of that self-image. If like from the movies to the oh, I want this type of love, you know, but it's like you if you're not really reaching for that type of love, you're not like I feel like if you're not really reaching for that type of love, then like don't try to chase it.

SPEAKER_03 18:27

You know, like I can give y'all oh, I'm sorry, go Japan. I'm sorry. Um, I guess I think it's okay to have like some influences a little bit, but then I think when people get like parasocial and then they're like putting their all, they want their whole personality, like it gets to that level, then it's very not safe to do that. No, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

Yeah, I agree. I I definitely agree. Like, I can give you an example personally, just because when I was growing up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, like I've been a lesbian all my life, and I had a commitment ceremony, uh, because gay marriage was not legal at the time, so I did get married or whatever. And behind and we were the we were the couple goals of the community, the gay community in Milwaukee. And everybody's like, oh, y'all doing this, y'all traveling, y'all all this. But behind closed doors, nobody knew what was going on until I finally left her. Everybody saw me being happy, I'm putting on a smile, putting, you know, faking the funk, you know, and everybody's like, oh, like I've literally had people tell me, like, oh, I want to be like, y'all, y'all marriage is so this, this, so that. Honey, no, if you if you only knew what was going on right now. And you just had to smile and say, thank you. Exactly. Like, I'm I'm I'm stressed out. They put me on depression medication. Like, it was it was bad. Like that. And I was in my early 20s, and she was a lot older than me. So, and like when I talked to my therapist, she was like, Yeah, I think she might have been trying to groom you because you were so young and I was naive, the first woman I had ever been in love with, you know, like and I was tricking myself to being happy, like, no, this is the love of my life, and da-da-da, and uh, yeah, no. So, after that, I learned don't ever let yourself trick yourself into being happy.

SPEAKER_03 20:30

Yes, yes, yes. Stop. Literally. Sorry, that damn dog. Cause he's starting to lost my train of thought. Like, I was gonna say probably something real good, and then here he go. Like, I don't even I don't forgot what it said or about to say now.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

Um, I just um both of us on on that because like we like like I had an ex that did the same thing, and everybody knew us like like through social media, and like all my friends, because I really social media like experience. I would say experience, I wouldn't say famous, I would social media experience. So I had all my platforms have like different angles, so they knew about that. Um, but they like always trying to make I don't know, they try to make our relationship seem like what it wasn't. I'm like, I don't like that because you know we are pre fighting. Like you know we're fighting. Like, what are you talking about? Talking you're like, oh my wife. I'm like, oh now I'm your wife. That's crazy. But like that's crazy. But you talking shit behind my back and stuff, which is crazy to my friends. Like, I I didn't get it. I'm like, and it just people do I just feel like people do a lot just to get that attention. That's what it is. It's that attention they want. They want that attention. It's like you're gonna do what you wanna do to get that attention to be happy. If people viewing you this way, that's gonna make you happy because you're not gonna be your true self. And I was just like I was gonna quit that.

SPEAKER_03 22:09

I was just like, how can I formulate that question? But um it'd be there, but girl, you know, the ad hood and all the other stuff, girl. Like, but that's what I was gonna say. Um like people, the people's perceptions and stuff, like, do y'all think that that made y'all stay in the relationships and want to keep going too? Cause like people were like, oh, y'all are like the definition of what I want and all that. Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

That that definitely played a part because it's like, okay, dang, people used to see me with this person right here. Now I'm gonna go start something over new.

SPEAKER_04 22:49

Like, I don't want to know. Yeah, yeah. I see what you're saying, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

That definitely is, yeah. Some that's something that's like, okay, yeah, I I can see that. Like, because I've done it. I I stayed with a person because this is with this is what the people know. People know this person. They don't see me with this other person, they're like, they don't they don't know that person.

SPEAKER_03 23:12

Like that starting over and yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:16

Now we will do it first. They'll be like, who is that? What happened to such and such? Oh my god. Like now is not the time.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

I don't see one of those questions. I don't just I so I just keep it now. I just keep my life private. Like, you don't know, you don't know who one day who who around. I can have well, she knows she be like, she be knowing it'd be different people, but that's besides the point. The world don't know. Right.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

I'm hollering.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

Yeah, she definitely will hit me with a uh what happened to now, friend. What happened to uh so and so? Girl, you know I had to let them loose. They they was they started tripping. I told them I ain't this ain't what I want.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

Like, sometimes you just gotta be you just gotta have a revolving door, like, oh, this one ain't work out next. Uh that one don't work out next. Like, I ain't thinking about nobody, uh what they got to think or their opinions about what I'm doing. Cause y'all ain't got to deal with them, I got to deal with them.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

So like they be tricky and this dating pool ain't the same. So I'm gonna do what makes me happy. Like exactly. Like, I'm not gonna be uh doing this and doing that and trying to stay with this person because and I just don't like that this this world moves so fast. I don't be moving on their time. I don't relationship and be together within a week. I don't even know what's your real next your birthday.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

Oh my god, yes, oh my god, I hate that I hate that, and lesbians move so fast, and I'm like, what the like I had literally me and my ex broke up last year in January, and the next month people ask me uh when I'm gonna get another relationship.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

Get the set and let it cool off.

SPEAKER_02 25:10

Can I be single, enjoy my life? What if I wanted to have a whole phase or something? Like, dang, I can't even do that because y'all want me to be no crazy.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

I'm outside. That's what I be telling people. I'm outside.

SPEAKER_04 25:24

Don't don't be I'm outside.

SPEAKER_01 25:29

This is what's making me stress being outside. Because you're not gonna stress me out. I'm not gonna deal with a but y'all not gonna stress me out, and that's what they do, they stress you out. I don't have time for that at all. Like, mm-mm. I'm gonna do what makes me happy because this ain't I I'm outside. Call me a hoe if you want to, but I'm just gonna be out.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

Exactly. Yes, like because I've been outside every weekend because I work from home Monday through Friday. On Friday nights, I'm outside all weekend. You see me Sunday, okay? Like, and when I'm single, I'm talking to multiple women. I'm just not talking to one. I can't do that one. This is what makes me happy. I'm talking to her, her, her, her, and her. Everybody be like, I don't know how you do that. You ain't gotta worry about it, honey, because I'm doing it. I know how to do it and been doing it. So everybody, we ain't gonna be able to do it. I'm talking to them all, and they all know that they is not the only one. So that's where a lot of women be messing up at. Hell the person that you just not talking to them. I let them all know, hey, you get this day, she gets this day, whatever, whatever the case may be. Like, I'm talking to you all. Okay, when I tell you I'm gonna call you back or I text you, I can't talk. You know what it is.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

No, factual.

SPEAKER_03 26:39

But you just being transparent, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

It's first my my line is first come first serve. Whoever comes first and call me, that's who get my line at night. Other than that, you you just you lost. You know my schedule, like I said, 7 p.m. And you know I work from home, so you better be calling at 7.02 so you get on the crack. You ain't getting on this line. This line is not for you.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

Okay, because some of them want to talk for a long time, and oh, it'd be a mess. Like you be, I be saying, Hold on, I'm gonna call you back. Hold on, I'm gonna call you back. Oh no, ma'am.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

And now you got a lot calls holding.

SPEAKER_02 27:21

Okay, and they know if I don't call them back because I'm good for not calling back that day, you gonna talk to me tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

No, if you know this, so like for my line, if you don't get on my line by I'm telling you, if you don't get on my line by 702, I'm gonna take my I'm gonna take my shower, I'm gonna eat, and I'm gonna so I'm gonna be knocked out. So you're either gonna be on my line before I or if you call after if you try to call contact me after nine o'clock, then I'm already in bed and the person already on my line, and they already did their time. So I'm ready to go lay down. Like I'm not gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

Nothing wrong with that. You gotta set time.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

No, for real. Like it's it's it's that's that's how it is. Like, I don't got time. Like, I'm I'm outside, and I don't know. I never been this outside, but I'm I am outside. I've never been this outside. I'm no I'm always been outside but committed.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

Being you outside like never before is crazy.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

For real, though, I definitely do that.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

This is true, you know. Um I I never hit this double up outside before.

SPEAKER_03 28:33

This is like more people that you can see shit for what it is.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

Yeah, I'm this I've been delusional outside, but I've never been this outside. I like this outside. And I just I think I like it.

SPEAKER_02 28:55

For real, like I've I've been outside like it's no tomorrow. I swear is oh it's like refreshing and everybody like you always outside, you uh because I can do that. I ain't got no kids, no none, like and live your life, girl, like y'all said too.

SPEAKER_03 29:17

You said no, you say you in Dallas and then it cut out.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

Yeah, I said she went wrong, because you're in Dallas too. Where was I in by?

SPEAKER_03 29:26

Oh, you in Dallas too? I'm in Dallas, I'm in North Dallas, yeah. I'm in uh Addison Farmers Branch, that little area. Yeah, you're close to me.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

Tell me the next event you're going to, girls, so we can get uh well Sunday the 19th. Look, I got it already ready. Period.

SPEAKER_03 29:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

I can send y'all the flyer. I will be there. It's my one of my besties, uh, her little party thing or whatever, so they celebrating cancers.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

They were I forgot. Something else clicking my brain. Everything else clicking my brain used. She said they all cancers, and I'm like, what the fuck they gotta do with it?

SPEAKER_02 30:18

No, it's a cancer. It's like they celebrating cancers. No, no, cancer party. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, the zodiac sign. No.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

Listen, I'm the zodiac sign now. Like that's the actual zodiac sign. So I'll I got confused.

SPEAKER_02 30:40

I'm like, that's why No, yes, yes, no, the Zodiac sign. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 30:52

Oh, but anyway.

SPEAKER_01 31:00

Because we got that you ain't got that job no more.

SPEAKER_03 31:05

Oh, yeah. Oh I heard what you said. Okay, is we we need to let the audio catch up. That's why I got silent. I was like, well, right. Like, right, let it buffer, like, um, but yeah, I had said I need to catch up with outside. And you said I don't have that job no more. And no, I don't. Not that one on the weekend. Actually, I may be getting another job soon, but until then, we'll be outside. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

Yes, I'm always outside every weekend.

SPEAKER_01 31:39

So yes, I'm I need to be outside with you every weekend now because you ain't gonna help. I'm I am old. I can't be like one time I went outside and I could not catch up with my day in my life. Like I was like, I don't know if this is a different kind of badness for, but I can't wake up. I can't, I can be up every other weekend.

SPEAKER_02 32:08

Once you hit the 30s, it's a little different because I'm about to be 38 this year, so it's definitely been a little different for me with the drinking and stuff. That's why I do a lot of sparkling waters now.

SPEAKER_03 32:22

Okay, okay. It's like stuff more lighter, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:25

Seltzer drinks and stuff like that, little liquors and stuff, like yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

So you know we haven't been to Johnny's in a while. We have to we have to revisit. We have to revisit Johnny's. We haven't been to Johnny.

SPEAKER_03 32:37

I do like Johnny. Where's Johnny's? Johnny's um like that other end of Deep Elm or like 5 a.m. instead like Bishop. They said it's real, real end of Deep Elm. Like it's not even like you wouldn't even think it's Deep Elm, really, but it's like 5 a.m. Club is over there. Izinca.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

I wanna go there. I haven't been yet.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

It's a time. I don't even know how I ended up there. I followed somebody there, and it was a time.

SPEAKER_02 33:10

I wanna stop. I've been seeing it. I'll be seeing double D's on TikTok too. But when I went past double D's where the line was outside, I said, first I found a new line. Right.

SPEAKER_03 33:20

I didn't even I wasn't even going there. I just I think I was going somewhere else in Deep Elum and I was driving, but I was like, what is going on? Why is the line wrapped around? And it was early. Like, double D's can't be that good, y'all.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

Right. But Deep Ellen at night on the weekend is a little uh gotta be a little careful.

SPEAKER_03 33:40

If you do, but I do be out there on the weekend on the weekend. I do no shit.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

We go it. I don't nothing. We see stuff on the on the social media, but we when we go out there, it's cool, it's chill, everybody.

SPEAKER_03 33:58

My own is we protected, we be protected. But it I will say it do be some crazy shit. Like bars I've gone to, and then like months later they got shot up, and I'm like, I'm glad I was not there, Lord. My God.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

But that's what I'm saying. Like we go, it's nothing that happens, but when we hear it on the news, three day um last weekend, the weekend after we go that's because we got that energy, we got that good energy, that's what it is.

SPEAKER_03 34:28

I gotta let her know thank you, Lord, for protecting us, girl.

SPEAKER_01 34:31

We got energy, we got that good energy. But back to the topic though. Um speaking of like we talked about social media, we we went all off time. We talked about clubs and everything. Okay, we talked about we talked about the social media of happiness. Um, so in general, for you for you speaking, what's something that's small, but it brings you a happy moment genuinely every day of joy in my house alone, not living with anyone.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

Okay does give you that nice sense of joy, pride. I I agree with that. Sometimes when I'm in my little kitchen air, I'll look up and just be like, oh, too cute.

SPEAKER_02 35:31

You look at your decorations and stuff, like, oh yeah, okay. Like, because when you live with somebody, you know, it's like, uh, you want to be by yourself some days. You'd be like, you irritate me. Get out of my face, get out my breathing air. Like, you know, and when you live alone and ain't nobody up in here, messing up nothing, disturbing you, you trying to, you know, you're trying to doom scroll on TikTok and they want to talk. Leave me alone.

SPEAKER_03 35:56

I'm on a mission.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

I'm gonna because I mean I have so you can't I when I'm scrolling, you can't be talking to me at the same time. Like, I just because I'm focused more on what they're talking about in this show because I watch a lot of crime stuff when I'm scrolling, and I'm like, Oh yeah, body cams, and you talking about me.

SPEAKER_03 36:18

Oh yeah, I'll be watching them too.

SPEAKER_02 36:20

You trying to be like what they just said, yes, I'm definitely ignoring you. My ears is closed off to you talking, and then I'll be like, huh? What you say? But then see me.

SPEAKER_03 36:30

Uh uh, I would say, um, share your screen, and then we'll just watch them together. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

Okay. I mean, but I be wanting because I'm like, I'm really like, I'm not like that clingy type. Like, I like my space, so I feel like this is my space, and you have to go find you something else to do. Cause this is this this is what I'm doing. You gotta you gotta go do something else. See this. I'm told you I got too comfortable. I got too comfortable, I got too comfortable being.

SPEAKER_00 36:58

Because I'm still I'm not clingy either.

SPEAKER_02 37:02

I get irritated. I'll be like, get up off me. Move. Go ahead. Bye.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Yo, yo, yo, yo, uh, your love language is not uh not physical touch.

SPEAKER_02 37:14

No, it's gift giving. I'm a gift giver.

SPEAKER_01 37:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

Physical touch is not my love language at all. Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_01 37:23

I I can say that's that. I can't do I can do a little bit of like I can do like in your hand, but I'm like, okay, that's enough. Like, back back. I don't I don't want to.

SPEAKER_03 37:34

That has to have a balance.

SPEAKER_01 37:36

Like it yeah, it has to be a balance. Like, you can't want to touch me every time you pass me or you sit by me. Like, you should be able to know how to be on your side of the couch and my side of the couch. Let's just watch this movie. We don't have to go today. Like, we do not have to cuddle today.

SPEAKER_04 37:51

So we do not have to be cuddling correctly.

SPEAKER_02 37:56

I'll be like, look, move, scoot over, it's hot. We stuck together, it's too much. No reason.

SPEAKER_01 38:07

No, I can't like I don't especially like down all day, cause like I was smaller before, but then I got I got bigger a little bit. But I be getting hot now. I be getting super hot now. So I'm like, I okay, listen, we gotta turn these ceiling fans on, like you wanna be touching and I can't be doing this, like and I think that's another reason I I'm getting comfortable with like being like not in a relationship because it's like I don't want to deal. I want you to go home. Like, and I'm not, yeah, I'm not gonna deal with that. I want you you have to have your space, I have to have my space. You can come over, but my space, you can't be in my space over two weeks. Not probably not even a week. You can't be over no more than a week. So when you leave, don't leave, don't leave nothing, only your toothbrush, don't leave your body wash, don't leave nothing at all.

SPEAKER_02 38:59

Like, like, no, because I did I think like take it all, take it all back home with you.

SPEAKER_03 39:04

No, you said do not leave no toiletry.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

Don't leave nothing at all because because I date masculine women, so I'm gonna just give it to my nephew. It ain't gonna be here for you. That's for my nephew now. Like, that's my nephew's stuff. That's her stuff don't move. Like, uh uh.

SPEAKER_02 39:22

Like, and you know, that's the thing. That does that part doesn't bother me them like leaving their toothbrush and stuff because you know, like I would own I only would have one. That would be my main one. If I'm still talking to other women and I got a main one, the rest of y'all, y'all know who toothbrush that is. Stop acting stupid.

SPEAKER_01 39:42

Like don't don't be dumb. Y'all know what the don't be touching her shit either.

SPEAKER_04 39:49

Don't be gonna be jealous.

SPEAKER_01 39:51

Don't touch her shit. Don't touch her shit. Exactly. Like it is what it is, like, you know, Lisa. We have to do what makes us happy. We just have to do what makes us happy at the end of the day. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:13

Exactly. Whatever makes you happy. Like, I'm not tricking myself to being happy no more. I'm not getting into no relationships just because, you know, like I'm not doing none of that anymore. So and nobody should ever do that. Just don't get in a relationship because of something. If they got too many red flags, please look at those.

SPEAKER_03 40:36

Early, like not afterwards.

SPEAKER_02 40:39

Yeah, I don't want to hear this. Oh, they a good person. A good person with all these red flags behind them. I don't give a fuck. Cut that shit out.

SPEAKER_01 40:49

I couldn't see red flags before. That's I know I was like, mm-mm. I'm like, you ain't talking to that person for two days. You just because I don't want to deal with it. I already know what I want to deal with. I know, and I know that is not what I want to deal with.

SPEAKER_03 41:02

And you'd rather do it in two days than two years. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

Like, for real. Like, no. So the final question. Final question. If someone is listening right now, they feel lost, unhappy, or stuck in a difficult season, what would you want them to know finding happiness or the meaning of their own life?

SPEAKER_03 41:33

Okay, wait. Say it one more time. Make sure I got it.

unknown 41:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 41:51

No, literally. I'm like, okay, I gotta get up.

SPEAKER_01 41:54

Okay, okay. If someone is to for the listeners that are listening right now, they're listening to this podcast right now, they just playing it right now. If they're feeling lost, they're feeling unhappy, or they're stuck in a difficult season, what would you want them to know about finding happiness and the meaning of their own life?

SPEAKER_00 42:20

So a message Oh, go ahead, go ahead, girl.

SPEAKER_01 42:26

Oh no, go ahead, fine. No, I was saying you I was trying to abbreviate the basically a message to our listeners right now about happiness on finding their own happiness. If they're feeling unhappy, lost. Or they just feel like they're stuck.

SPEAKER_00 42:43

No, go ahead, go, go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 42:50

I think when she play it bad, it'd be working out.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

Because we went through the same thing. Yes, I'm like, oops. I would say first find yourself. Like, look at yourself, learn to love yourself. If you need to talk to yourself in the mirror, do daily affirmations, and get your brain out of that um that lust mode that, oh, they make me happy because they do one thing for you that nobody else has ever done. Just because they do that one thing that nobody else has ever done don't mean that you're technically happy. They need to make you need to make sure that every box is checked. That means if it's in friendship, family, a spouse, whatever. Just don't settle for one thing. Settle for all things that you want and that you desire and that you need in your life. Don't sit there and be like, oh, yeah, you know, she or he makes me happy because I've never been loved this way. Way, but are they loving you in only one type of language? They need to love you in all the languages, just not one. That that's me.

SPEAKER_03 44:14

Um, I what was I understand? I was gonna say I agree. I understand all of those. Uh um my oh child is dog. Um what was I gonna say? Um, for me, I would say uh make sure to look back on like your old like old accomplishments, old failures, old just your old life, and then look at how far you've come and then like realize like you still got so much more. Like I had to tell myself that this morning. Um like you've gone there's so much, like more than this girl. Like, you have to let this little stuff take you out and make you stress out like please. And so I think looking back at like how strong you have been and remind yourself, like, we're strong now.

SPEAKER_01 45:14

Yeah, no, I definitely agree.

SPEAKER_00 45:17

Yeah, y'all got some, y'all, y'all good.

SPEAKER_01 45:19

Y'all good. I like what I got the brain. But no, I definitely agree with both of you. I can I cannot say it any better than what y'all both said it. Cause I definitely, definitely agree on both sides and what y'all put together. Yeah. I don't know. This this uh this um uh mini maid, this mini maid know what it's doing. Right.

SPEAKER_03 45:47

Like she's feeling it.

SPEAKER_02 45:49

Okay, I know that's right. Sunday fun day. Oh Halloween.

SPEAKER_03 45:55

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

I'm like, okay, I'm I'm about to go.

SPEAKER_03 46:00

She's about oh I read like I all the points were good and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:07

It's like every time I was like, I'm gonna say this, and then she said it, and I said, you know what, I'm gonna put it on this part, and then you said it, and I'm like, okay, what the fuck I'm gonna say now. What the fuck can I say? Because y'all said both of it, uh what I wanted to say, so I don't know what the fuck to say now.

SPEAKER_03 46:24

Okay, okay. So you just like I agree, I agree. That's all I understand.

SPEAKER_01 46:31

I'm gonna go first because y'all keep on saying what I wanted to say, and then I'm really gonna like okay. I'm gonna answer my uncle first, so I'm gonna do next time. But let me know how to end this. Um, you are with Dea. We've got Japan, Wendy. We're closing this out with the episode two. We know a perfect relationship, a perfect career, a perfect healed version of ourselves, but maybe real happiness is quieter than that. Maybe happiness is meaning of maybe the meaning of happiness isn't about feeling all good all that time. Maybe it's about building a life to um honesty enough to hold both joy and struggles at the same time. Because what is being human anyway? So thank you. I was gonna say I'm gonna cut it out. Thank you, Dia, for joining us today. Thank you, girl. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_02 47:47

It was so great to meet both of y'all and everything, and this was awesome.

SPEAKER_03 47:52

Thank you. It was so good, we gotta do this again, Wendy.

SPEAKER_01 47:58

We're gonna have to have you again, Dia. We're gonna probably have to have you on tomorrow. I mean, not tomorrow, next week. We gotta probably have you next week. No, we're not anyway. Thank you, thank you, Wendy aka Japan, for your perspective as well. And thank you to all the problems listeners. If today's commentation made you think, laugh, reflect, or questions your definition of happiness, then we've done our job. This is the if you want to be a guest.

SPEAKER_03 48:35

And you need to tell them oh my bad. I was gonna say, and you need to tell them to do their job respectfully and like, comment, share. What they be saying, like, comment, share, subscribe. Yes, tell your mama, maybe not if they don't know you gay, but maybe like tell your gay homegirl, tell your tell your people, like tell somebody, okay.

SPEAKER_01 49:04

But if you like to be a guest host, um for our any of our future episodes, you can email us at pretty gayproms at gmail.com. You can get on the Instagram at pretty gay prongspod, or you can just um message me on Facebook. If you have my personal Facebook, just message me on Facebook. So we're out until next time.

SPEAKER_04 49:28

Yes.